Marriage Matters Blog
Marriage Matters Blog, 001
Our Marriage
My name is Brady Rice and on June 28th, 2026 Karen and I will have been married 51 years. Our relationship began when I met Karen at church and her fiancé and how we ended up as a couple is fun and interesting but how we managed to stay together for 51 years is what we feel would be beneficial to other couples.
We both grew up in Christian homes but in very different Christian homes. My family went to church most Sunday mornings and occasional Sunday night but Karen's family never missed Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening and they hosted a Saturday night young people's gathering at their home. God was a part of my family but God was the center of Karen’s family. When we got married I adopted Karen’s family as the way I wanted to raise our children.
I was successful in the corporate world as a men's apparel buyer for a department store. My career took us to 5 different major moves and we ended up in Southern California. At age 45 we had been married 25 years and my wife informed me it was time for me to move out. I was shocked and devastated. I had no idea she was so unhappy.
Our challenge was that she was the ideal “christian wife” and totally submitted to her husband because that’s what she observed and was taught from her family, they never questioned authority nor the leadership at church. My family had zero problems questioning and challenging authority and confrontations were invited. Karen was never comfortable challenging me and she always avoided confrontation. For 25 years I just felt all my ideas were great and Karen always agreed with my ideas, I was so very wrong!
You can imagine how hurt Karen was and how long she carried that pain before the pain got bad enough for her to confront me. I may be an arrogant donkey but I’m not stupid. I was determined to do everything in my power to change and be the man my wife hoped she was marrying. That required me to really listen and to really understand my wife. It required me being transformed.
I had been through a transformation in 1973 when I opened the door and allowed Jesus into my life but I had to be transformed again to be the man my wife and God was calling me to be. My new favorite question I learned to ask was, “I don’t understand what you’re seeing but I want to see what you see, can you help me?” I’ll never forget the first time I asked that question to Karen, her response reflecting 25 years of being married to someone who in her eyes was a self centered bully. She said, you don’t understand because you’re an idiot. I responded to her harsh response by saying, “that’s true, but I still want to understand and I need your help.”
I found out that day that Karen couldn't resist a humble and sincere Brady and our marriage began a transformational rebuild and we are what both of us dreamed a marriage could be. Also my mid-life transformation opened me to a path to become a pastor. I not only fulfilled my marriage ideal I fulfilled the call God has always had on my life all because I allowed myself to see through my partner and best friends eyes.
Our Marriage
My name is Brady Rice and on June 28th, 2026 Karen and I will have been married 51 years. Our relationship began when I met Karen at church and her fiancé and how we ended up as a couple is fun and interesting but how we managed to stay together for 51 years is what we feel would be beneficial to other couples.
We both grew up in Christian homes but in very different Christian homes. My family went to church most Sunday mornings and occasional Sunday night but Karen's family never missed Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening and they hosted a Saturday night young people's gathering at their home. God was a part of my family but God was the center of Karen’s family. When we got married I adopted Karen’s family as the way I wanted to raise our children.
I was successful in the corporate world as a men's apparel buyer for a department store. My career took us to 5 different major moves and we ended up in Southern California. At age 45 we had been married 25 years and my wife informed me it was time for me to move out. I was shocked and devastated. I had no idea she was so unhappy.
Our challenge was that she was the ideal “christian wife” and totally submitted to her husband because that’s what she observed and was taught from her family, they never questioned authority nor the leadership at church. My family had zero problems questioning and challenging authority and confrontations were invited. Karen was never comfortable challenging me and she always avoided confrontation. For 25 years I just felt all my ideas were great and Karen always agreed with my ideas, I was so very wrong!
You can imagine how hurt Karen was and how long she carried that pain before the pain got bad enough for her to confront me. I may be an arrogant donkey but I’m not stupid. I was determined to do everything in my power to change and be the man my wife hoped she was marrying. That required me to really listen and to really understand my wife. It required me being transformed.
I had been through a transformation in 1973 when I opened the door and allowed Jesus into my life but I had to be transformed again to be the man my wife and God was calling me to be. My new favorite question I learned to ask was, “I don’t understand what you’re seeing but I want to see what you see, can you help me?” I’ll never forget the first time I asked that question to Karen, her response reflecting 25 years of being married to someone who in her eyes was a self centered bully. She said, you don’t understand because you’re an idiot. I responded to her harsh response by saying, “that’s true, but I still want to understand and I need your help.”
I found out that day that Karen couldn't resist a humble and sincere Brady and our marriage began a transformational rebuild and we are what both of us dreamed a marriage could be. Also my mid-life transformation opened me to a path to become a pastor. I not only fulfilled my marriage ideal I fulfilled the call God has always had on my life all because I allowed myself to see through my partner and best friends eyes.
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